With National Siblings Day having passed few weeks ago, I’ve taken some time to look back at the memories I’ve shared with my own sibling and the impact that they have had on me.
My sister, Jennifer Wouldstra, and I are roughly three years apart which at times seemed like the biggest gap in the world. But now as adults that gap seems almost nonexistent, and perhaps non-relevant.
I have a mix of memories from my younger years that come and go in my mind like the old family movies that highlight parts of a story while leaving all the gaps in between to be imagined.
I’m not sure why some images are so much more vivid than others when they don’t seem to have much impact, but I’m no expert in what truly shapes our memories. I often wonder how many memories I may have fabricated while trying to fill the gaps as my mind does tend to play tricks on me for reasons I’ll never know.
My earliest memories with my sister are back in East Van when I was 6 or 7 and when life seemed to have no limits or scheduled times to be home. Every alley was a new adventure.
I remember making new friends, forming a band and playing until the sun went down, saving our money to buy Styrofoam planes and parachute men, rolling garbage cans down hill for something to do.
These were, as Springsteen would say, “the glory days” of our youth that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
When it came time to move from East Van, we were less than thrilled but as 8 and 12-year-olds, we didn’t have much say in this. I do wonder sometimes what our lives would have been like had we continued to stay in East Van.
In Burnaby, our new town, my sister and I filled our after-school days making sausage, cheese and pickle platters and hanging out in the backyard.
Being more outgoing, she quickly made friends and yet again, I was excited to know her friends and befriend them.
There were a few years when my sister and I didn’t hang out due to schedules and different life choices but these years apart didn’t affect our importance to each other today and ultimately made us stronger.
Throughout the years I was often around my sister when she had friends over and vice versa if I ever had a party at the house, and it is these times that I remember most.
There was no age gap between us and we shared friends and experiences from late night to early morning chats on the roof when our parents were out of town.
Those memories include sitting in my sister’s now husband’s VW Bug until the wee hours chatting with him about his hopes for the future.
There were times when I cried when her relationship would end because I had developed a friendship with her then boyfriend that I didn’t want to lose.
When I think about this now, I realize how much of an impact this has had on us, the fact that we both share the ones we cared about with each other.
I could recount endless stories of nights out at shows, camping trips that we’ll never forget and random deck dancing with new shared friends that will remain as lifetime memories instead of something that gets lost in the memory bank along with our daily routines.
I don’t see my sister often even though we only live an hour apart but when we do put our work schedules aside to get together, its always an amazing evening with little left unsaid and no shortage of fun and silliness to recount the next day.
We don’t get to choose our siblings but we do get to chose what we share with them and that is what makes one another so special.
My sister shared her friends with me, gave me the courage to speak to someone who I would not have otherwise and showed me what it was like to enjoy life to its fullest.
My sister has helped me come out of my bubble when it comes to having conversations with strangers.
I am forever grateful for my sister and though I didn’t get to chose her, I would not trade her for anyone or anything.
A belated Happy Siblings Day to all!
Jacqulin McNicol is currently the president of the Squamish Days Loggers Sports Association
