Welcoming a baby during social distancing

Amidst the news reports of a relentless pandemic, I smile during a facetime chat with my niece, Hillary, as she announces she is expecting her first child in July.

The joyous occasion of a summer baby is to be celebrated and instinctively I think of booking a flight to Ontario.  Then, reality slowly creeps over like a dark cloud reminding me I won’t be booking a flight for a while.  A proper celebration must wait or perhaps a virtual baby shower will take its place.

Memories of my sister-in-law’s long pregnancy 30 years ago, the delivery in hospital, and meeting my niece for the first time happily pour in.  Now it’s her time to help her daughter feel safe and secure, as she always has done, and to support her from a distance.

Without being physically present, I wonder what that support will look like. Perhaps an iPad set up and facetime will provide the needed physical and emotional support of her mom. With their fierce connection, I know they will find a way.

Inspired by the teachings of renowned midwife Ina May Gaskin, the birth plan does not include a hospital but instead an at-home delivery, with three midwives and partner by her side.  No doula is scheduled at a cost of $1,000.  Her brow furrows a bit at the topic of health.

She is being screened for gestational diabetes and preparing for the challenges should the tests come back positive.  For now, focus remains on the things that can be controlled. She is happy; she is healthy; there aren’t any underlying health issues; and she manages her glucose values, exercises, gets plenty of sleep and is eating a balanced diet for two.

While patting her Great Dane Sonny, my niece takes me on a virtual tour of her home pointing out renovations undertaken. She stops at the baby room. The room is bare. I envision freshly painted walls with baby borders; maybe of her own artistic design, accents of pink, a changing table, baby cot and musical mobile. Perhaps a rocking chair in front of the window for those precious moments spent feeding their daughter while listening to Joni Mitchell.

A teacher and artist, my niece is an exceptional young woman who gracefully manages life’s traumas and triggers while supporting her family. She enjoys simple pleasures and photography. She is smart and funny and dresses and dances to her own tune. She laughs about ordering pregnancy jeans because she misses wearing jeans and shares her feelings about watching her body grow.

Her advice to all mothers expecting is simple. Enjoy the miracle of this special time and recognize there’s so much to be grateful for. To feel her happily embracing motherhood and to know she will soon experience that mother-daughter bond with her own daughter reminds me what is important.

The words, “Auntie Anne, I’m pregnant, and it’s a girl” ring in my ear. Picturing her nesting brings happy tears to my eyes. I choose to stay in this celebratory moment as long as humanly possible before returning to my daily preoccupations.

I look outside at the blue sky and think of the future, the many joys in store for us all, and await “social distancing” to be replaced by “social reconnection”.  Maybe these trials and tests of endurance are meant to unite mankind. Such is life!